Mission Impossible Tea-m: Star Wars Edition
by loverofbumblebees
Summary: Someone has stolen Hux's tea supply, and Phasma and Kylo are in a desperate race to get the tea back before Hux wakes up. Will they make it? Or will they be sabotaged?


Coffee was in abundance on the First Order base. It was no secret that most of the crew did drink coffee, or had some form of caffeine in their systems at all times. Mostly, because everyone needed to either be more awake, or needed to deal with the headaches that their colleagues were. So there was a large store of coffee sitting around. All kinds of brands, from various planets, so that any species or any kind of taste buds could get coffee. Creamers and sugars of all kinds were there too. Even honey, for the exotic black coffee drinker.

Tea, however, was not quite as common. Did they have it? Yes, but only in the most popular brands. Anything else would have to be bought by an individual on break, or shipped to them by a care package from their family.

But there was one specific package in the breakroom that had tea in it that everyone was always informed to avoid using, even the rookies. It even had a bright yellow sticky note taped on it that had "General Hux's tea: Stay Out. (I'm talking to you Kylo)" scrawled on it in sharpie. Nobody would take the tea, and after the first few incidents, Kylo left the tea alone finally. It was the Tarine tea. No one was supposed to touch it.

But, as the usual trend, the First Order employees could only go so long without doing something. It had been a smooth few months, and most of them were jittery for some action to occur. They figured the rebels had to be somewhere in the nearby system, but nobody had pinned them down just yet. The First Order was so close to figuring it out, but they couldn't get an exact location out of any of the rebels that they had captured.

So of course, someone stole Hux's tea.

Now, they would've gotten away with it if it hadn't been for Phasma having to wake up extremely early to go to a meeting, and looking in the cabinet. The officer's special coffee was all in one cabinet in the staff room, so that it would be easier to figure out whose coffee was whose. And normally Hux's tea was on the top shelf, far left. It wasn't. Now, any of the other officers would have just assumed that Hux had moved it, or had already gotten his tea for the morning and just forgot to put it back. (The exception being Kylo Ren, who would have just laughed, because Hux would be freaking out later). But Phasma was different. She knew that 1) Hux was off that day, so he would most likely be asleep until the next day (even though the medical staff had already informed him several times that he needed to get a better sleep schedule going, but he never did), and that 2) her soldiers were extremely jittery and probably going to cause some trouble.

So, Phasma sighed, and got her coffee, noting the issue for later, after the meeting, since it was "mandatory". Which, in her terms, meant that she didn't have to go but that she probably should so that Hux didn't yell at her about the importance of punctuality and then went into a thirty minute long rant about the rules and regulations of the First Order and what it really meant to be a top officer. After about the fifteen minute mark she would stop listening, and just make faces at him underneath her helmet, but half the time he could sense them anyways and that would continue to rant longer about her making him waste his time and her time.

Phasma had a Styrofoam travel cup in her hand that had "Captain Chromedome" scribbled on, like a third grader had written on the cup. A small Stormtrooper cadet, she believed his code to be "FN-2187", had written that on several cups, and had drawn a childish drawing of her helmet, including finger guns, and little sparkles. Phasma appreciated the sentiment, so she decided to use them anyways. Phasma hummed a little tune that she remembered from her parents as she sat down in the cushy chairs of the meeting room. She sipped her coffee as she waited, looking at the Holonet news on her datapad. It came time for the meeting and she was the only one in the room. She checked the message again, just to make sure that she was in the correct place. Seeing that she was, she looked around, wondering where everyone was at.

She practically jumped a foot in the air as Kylo Ren slammed the door behind him as he stormed in, dressed in his uniform, but without the mask. (Phasma had her helmet sitting on the table, as she normally did, because the other officers thought it was "rude for her to wear a helmet if she didn't need it for breathing assistance"). Phasma sighed and leaned forward, half looking at the news still as she asked, "What did you do now?"

Kylo breathed heavily, and turned to face her. "What did I do? No, for once it wasn't me, it was one of your Stormtroopers! I haven't done anything! They decided to do something that will no doubt get you and I killed!"

Phasma rolled her eyes, took a long sip of her coffee, and, this time not looking up from the news, asked, "What happened Kylo? Please just spit it out."

"One of your troopers stole Hux's tea!"

Phasma went to take another sip of her coffee, when something sank in. "You called a meeting, at way-too-kriffing-early o'clock, just so that you could tell me that one of my troopers took Hux's tea? I could have told you that! I looked in the cabinet this morning."

"Then why didn't you do anything?"

Phasma gave him an "are you serious" expression. "Kylo, I noted it for later, because I had an 'important meeting' to get to, but seeing as that meeting was apparently trash and a lie, looks like my schedule for the day has opened up. So, your brilliant Highness, what do you want me to do about it?"

Kylo opened his mouth, then closed it. He hadn't thought that far ahead (though that would explain why half his missions failed these days. Think with you brain Kylo, not your mouth). He also hadn't thought that he could get Phasma on board with the recovery thing that he…hadn't mentioned yet.

"I think that we need to either find the trooper, or we just go get more tea."

Phasma leaned back, puffing her bright blonde hair out of her face. "Alright. Let's say that we hypothetically do that. Where do we go from there? How do we catch the trooper? Where do we get more tea at?"

Kylo paused, sweating under his collar. He hadn't thought this through. "W-well where would you go?"

Phasma stilled, and thought for a moment, calmly working through a process in her head. "Well, we could access the security cameras that are located in the staff workroom, seeing as we know an approximate time that the tea was taken. Or, we can go get the tea shop down in the village to order some more of the Tarine tea."

Kylo nodded slowly. "I think those are some good ideas. But, just hear me out here," he put his hands in the hair in the air in a contemplative gesture, like the one someone does when they hear someone say something stupid, "What if we just, and I'm just putting this out there- Mission Impossible both?"

Phasma blinked. Then she put her head in her hands. "Kylo that's a horrible idea." Her voice came out muffled, but it got the point across.

"But is it really?" Kylo asked, splaying out his hands.

"Yes that's a horrible idea."

"Okay just because you don't like Mission Impossible doesn't mean that you have to take it out on me Phasma."

Phasma sighed. "Alright fine. We'll split up Mr. Mission Impossible," she rolled her eyes, "I'll get the tea shop, and you do, whatever it is that you're planning to do. But make sure that Hux doesn't find out that his tea was stolen."

"Well then we need one more person."

The two looked at each other.

As it turns out, an unlucky Stormtrooper was put on the task of making sure that Hux didn't find out anything that had transpired, and that Hux didn't get into the cabinet. At all costs, Hux was not allowed in the breakroom.

On the one side of the base, Phasma had exited the building, wrapping her black coat around her, and pulling her silver scarf up onto her nose. It had to be the chilliest morning that the base had received in a while, this one morning, didn't it? She dryly laughed inside at the irony, but forged on.

She entered the tea shop, ducking under the doorframe. It was a quaint little shop. Hux had offhandedly mentioned it once or twice when they all had gotten very, very drunk. Hanging from the ceiling were teacups that had little holes in them, and exotic succulents and air plants were in them. Phasma paused for a moment to examine one. They really did brighten up the place, and make it seem quainter, what with the large windows at the front. She shook her head and continued on with her mission. Phasma approached the large shelves at the back of the room that looked very similar to what Hux stored his wine in. A label that said "Rosemary" caught her eye.

"May I help you?" A friendly voice inquired. Phasma turned and saw a teenager with her brown hair in a bun walking towards her.

"I've never really drank any tea before, I was looking at this particular kind, and a friend of mine sent me to come pick up a package of tea for him."

"Oh!" The girl (upon Phasma's closer examination, her name tag said "Shelly") said, "Well, Rosemary tea is super good for you! It helps with muscle pain and spasms, improves memory, and, my favorite, it also helps with hair growth." After a moment's thought, she added "And it smells good too! Would you like a sample tin?"

Phasma swallowed, and nodded. "I think I would like a sample tin, please."

Shelly smiled. "No problem, I'll get it for you right now." She walked to the counter, and crouched, looking for the certain box. "Ah! Here's one." She slid it down for the counter, and Phasma expertly stopped it with her hand. "So!" Shelly continued. "What was it your friend needed?"

"Well, my friend likes Tarine tea, specifically the strawberry flavor, and I didn't know if you had any in stock? It's a pretty uncommon flavor for most tea shops to have and we generally have to special order it from somewhere, and I was just wondering if you would happen to have one?"

Shelly thoughtfully hummed, and turned around and produced a binder, plopping it down on the counter, looking through the pages. "According to this, we should have one package left. It sells out pretty fast. But I can set you up here."

Phasma brightened up. "Really?"

"Yeah. I just gotta go look in storage for a minute. Wait here."

Shelly disappeared into the closet behind the counter. Phasma waited for a few minutes, looking around at the various decorative tea cup plates that lined the walls. She thought that the candles that were in tea cups were cute. But the little tea cup succulent was adorable. The cup itself was black, with little gold rings decorating the rim and the base of the cup. Red and orange roses were arranged in paint on the sides as well. Phasma picked the cup up. Hey, her room could use some decorating anyways. A little foliage wouldn't hurt. She set it on the counter right as Shelly walked out of the storage room.

"Here you are!" Shelly smiled as she set down the tea package. "Alright, the sample tin is free, but the full package is 15 credits, while the cup is five. Do you want anything else?"

Phasma considered the offer. "Do you have a tea cup I could use?"

"It comes free." Shelly didn't miss a beat with the reply.

"Oh, well, then no."

"That'll be 20 credits."

Phasma slid the credits across the counter, and Shelly bagged her stuff up into a paper bag that had the logo of the tea shop on it, "The Ceramic Cup".

As Phasma was leaving, Shelly called after her, "Have a tea-riffic day!"

Phasma laughed and replied with "you too!"

A brand new pack of Tarine tea in hand, Phasma was now thoroughly prepared to get the tea in the cabinet before Hux noticed.

Kylo, on the other hand, was not. Mr. Mission Impossible was on the base, and looking through security footage. He hadn't found anything. It was just hours of nothing. Look-a Stormtrooper in the cabinet, taking out tea. How boring-wait a minute. Kylo sat up quickly and rewound the tape. There was a Stormtrooper that had the bag of tea, and then the Stormtrooper looked down in disgust, and then threw it away.

A Stormtrooper hadn't taken it, they had thrown it away.

Kylo fumbled for the walkie-talkie, (the orange kind, that floats in water), and talked into it. "Phasma, Phasma this is Kylo, come in."

There was silence and then the familiar crackle as the radio came on. "Kylo this is Phasma. The item has been secured. I am coming back to my rendezvous point. What do you need?"

"This is Kylo to Phasma. They didn't take it, they threw it away."

"Kylo you don't need to clarify who it is I know who you are and why would they do that?"

"I don't know. You tell me, they're your Stormtroopers."

"Do you seriously think that I know who all does what and why?"

"Isn't that your job?"

"It's not. Ah well. Here."

Phasma walked through the door, and asked, "Alright, what's this footage you've apparently got?"

Kylo turned around and rewound the film, and showed it to Phasma.

"Oh, hey that's Turner."

"Who?"

"JK-2021."

"Oh. Why's he called Turner?"

Phasma looked to the side, trying to suppress a laugh at the memory of the story of the nickname. "Not exactly relevant right now. I'll tell you later."

Kylo's eyebrows knit together, and he was about to reply when Phasma's radio went off.

"Excuse me, Phasma, Hux is getting out of bed."

Kylo and Phasma looked at each other, then both scrambled to the door, unlocking it and running down the hallway. Their footsteps rang in the corridors, and the Stormtroopers and officers gave them strange looks as the duo rushed by them on their way to make it to the staff room.

When they arrived, they were panting, and Phasma grabbed the tea out of the big bag, and grabbed the nearby sticky notes, scribbling the regular Hux message onto it, and stuck it on the bag.

Unfortunately, Hux rounded the corner while she still had the bag in hand while putting it in the cabinet, and for just a second, her eyes locked with his.

Then she slammed the cabinet door shut.

Hux was genuinely confused. "W-what is going on here?"

Phasma looked at Kylo, and Kylo looked at Phasma. A mental game of rock-paper-scissors occurred, and Phasma lost, so she had to say.

"Well, Hux, apparently your tea was missing, so we went to get you another bag."

"Okay? That's awfully nice of you, considering I only threw the back out yesterday after my regular evening tea."

In that moment, Phasma and Kylo had a simultaneous existential crisis.

Hux's eyebrows came together. "Are you two alright?"

"We-we thought that one of the Troopers took it." Kylo murmured, dumbfounded.

Phasma was in the corner, hitting her head on the counter repeatedly.

"B-but then why did that Trooper take the tea out of the cabinet?" whispered Kylo.

Phasma had an epiphany. "He took it out because it was his tea. We were looking at the wrong camera the whole time, Kylo you idiot."

Kylo turned around, and joined Phasma in hitting his head against the counter.

Hux couldn't bear to watch this anymore. "Hey, why don't we all sit down and maybe have a nice cup of tea, or coffee, or hot chocolate if you want?"

Phasma and Kylo looked at him, red marks on their heads from the counter.

"Really?" asked Phasma.

"Sure." Hux replied, at this point just wanting them to quit hitting their heads on the new counter that had been replaced since Kylo had destroyed it last week. Also he couldn't have them damaging their skulls, seeing as they were the sanest people that he knew on this base.

And so, the three of them sat down, and had a tea party, where the three of them complained about various aspects of their jobs, and turns out that Phasma likes rosemary tea, and would continue to go to that tea shop. Meanwhile Kylo just loved the little succulent, and would buy more and more, some for his room, some for the staff room (Hux would eventually have to tell Kylo to calm down with the plants because the staff room was starting to turn into a new version of Endor). Hux, Hux would go on with his day, and learn that next time he ran out of tea, he knew two people he could count on to get him some more. As for Turner, well, he would continue to cause chaos, but in a different part of the base. All three of them were happy, relaxed, and in good moods, and the whole base benefited from their top officers being in very good moods for the rest of the day.

 **Author's note:**

 **Hi kids. I've returned to bring you another story that I hope you enjoy. It's more Phasma and Kylo centric this time. I know that they're a little (probably very) OOC, but I really wanted to write something like this with their characters? I hope you enjoyed the story, no matter how much I probably just destroyed their characters.**

 **This is a one shot, really, I may add a bonus chapter or something at some point if I feel like it.**

 **So, uh, leave a review please, tell me whether it was good garbage, bad garbage, if you'd like to see more garbage writing from me, please tell me and I'll keep writing.**

 **Disclaimer: Star Wars doesn't belong to me.**

 **Thank you for reading!**

 **-loverofbumblebees**


End file.
